It is said that the chances of finding a four-leaf clover on your first try is about 1 in 10,000. Scientific American estimates that there are roughly 200 clovers per 10 square inches in a clover patch. This means there is at least one four-leaf clover in a 13 square foot plot of clovers.
The rare occurrence of finding a four-leaf clover can also be used as a metaphor for finding a best friend. Of course, friends come, and friends go, but there is a special friend that loves like a brother, that can fall into the very rare category. This was one of those friends.
In many cases, you choose your friends, not like your family, and in many ways, the ones we bring into our lives intentionally can mean just as much, if not more. True friends help us live more meaningful, joy-filled lives, and the value of a true friend should never be underestimated.
True friends support us through thick and thin. My dear friend supported me and loved me for the person I am, flaws and all. We were only together for thirteen years, but it seemed like a lifetime together. No matter what stupid thing I said or did, my friend accepted me unconditionally and even found beauty in my quirks and imperfections.
We had our ups and downs, but he was always there for me when I was going through hard times. He was one that I could laugh and play with and have fun, but he would also listen and allow me to vent and cry, when needed. And he always knew how to cheer me up. That’s a true friend.
Sometimes life gets in the way and our busy schedules make it difficult to spend time with our friends as much as we would like. A best friend will treat you as a priority and set aside quality time to catch up. And, true friends will always be there to support you, never turning on you when the wind changes direction.
If you choose your friends the right way, you will always surround yourself with those who share your values and can be relied upon to help guide you through life. Sometimes, we may not notice ourselves stumbling and falling off track, but a true friend will always be there waiting to help pick us up and get back on the straight and narrow.
Friendships such as these cannot be forced. These special connections just happen. A long-lasting friendship involves an effortless connection in which the two friends understand each other when simply being themselves. It is vitally important that you be a good friend in return and show how much you love and care. You will be loved and respected more than ever when you reciprocate.
My friend’s passing did not come as a surprise as he had been sick for a while. He started showing signs about a year ago. It got to the point where I knew he wouldn’t see another Christmas. I wouldn’t say he suffered, but it was evident he couldn’t do the things he used to do. Despite his obvious frailties, he always showed signs of youth and vitality when he would see me. His activity level would climb a notch or two when we were together.
Some special memories I cling to were sharing scrambled eggs in the morning or whipped cream and pocky sticks at coffee time. I loved to secretly share my dinner with him despite Momma’s opposition. There were also quality mornings at the beach to take in a beautiful sunrise and the one botched attempt at watching the sunset. Losing my cell phone was not part of the plan and basically ruined the evening. oh, but we can laugh about it now.
I believe in eternal life, and I’m sure he did too, so I am convinced we will share a thousand special moments on the other side of this existence. Whether we ascend to Glory or cross a bridge, we will meet up on the other side. I look forward to that day.
So, here’s to you, Ray. Thank you for the memories. We saw each other through good times and some not so good. Every memory will bring joy to my soul and a smile to my face. You were the epitome of a true best friend, and dammit, I will miss you terribly.
Ray Lewis Jr.
July 1, 2011 - September 6, 2024
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